10182018 Headline:

Ground Control: Mr. Mannion

Dear Ground Control, How did Mr. Mannion create chemistry? It’s indisputable that he did, but how? What were his motivations? Sincerely, Curious Chemist Dear Lesser Chemist, Of course our exquisite chem-god — pronounced (Che-em) [...]

Snark Attack WoBBLy sTAiRs

Dear peers, There’s an uprising against us. It’s the main stairway, the anonymous steps that give themselves character when they qUaKe and TreMbLE when one does nothing but step on them. I lose a little bit of hope for my life everytime [...]

Snark Attack Printers

Ok, so the printers are pissing me off again. This time however, it’s not just the machine itself. It’s also the humans that operate these machines that really grind my gears. The printers themselves work off and on, and are never close [...]

Ground Control Christmas and College

Dear Ground Control, I am a senior and everyone around me seems stressed out over “college apps.” I’m afraid of sounding dumb to my friends but, what’s a “college app”? Sincerely, Confused (but not) in College   Dearest Confused, Ah, [...]

Snark Attack Fear of Change

  Snark Attack: Fear Change   To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes: “The only permanent things in this world are change and your inability to deal with it”   Let’s get one thing straight here, people. Everything changes, [...]

Ground Control TOO MUCH PUMPKIN

Dear Ground Control, With autumn comes everyone’s least favorite Starbucks drink: the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Recently, I have noticed that it doesn’t end there. IT’S EVERYWHERE. Pumpkin spice this and pumpkin spice that. I hate pumpkin spice. [...]

Snark Attack

Do you know what everyone loves to the bottom of their heart space? High school parking lots. Do you know what their favorite thing about high school parking lots is? People who park like absolute jack@$$es.   I’m talking about the people [...]

Ground Control

Dear Ground Control, Every time I park my car in the neat striped spot, people yell at me. I don’t understand why people are being so mean. What do I do? Sincerely, Parking Perp   Dear Perp, After much thought about your problem, and [...]

Snark Attack: Finals Week and Procrastination

Now that finals are over, we can take a quick time-out to mourn the loss of sleep and friends due to irritability from finals week. It was inevitable, everyone knew it was coming, but what they weren’t expecting were the four day finals for [...]

Homecoming and dealing with the introverts

With less than a week left until Homecoming, I’m too scared to ask someone and I don’t think anyone will ask me. What should I do?   Dateless and Desperate     Dear Dateless,   Man up: pick up the remote, turn off [...]

Snark Attack: Dress Code Enforcement

The dress code was instituted to “promote a professional culture at RAHS,” but the enforcement has become so unpredictable it might be safer to just wear no clothes at all.  I have seen students dress-coded by certain teachers when they [...]