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Snark Attack – December 2016

By Phoenix Flyer

Okay, we all know that the flu is going around, and because of that Mr. Snark is out of business until hibernation season ends. For now, it’s time to deal with me, the Meme Shark, and boy oh boy, we’re gonna get down to business to defeat the puns. That’s right; I’m going to tackle the three banes of our school society: rules that aren’t enforced, rules that aren’t enforceable, and rules that are just plain stupid. You’ll be walking through a day in the life of a memer at RAHS trying to express discomfort with the dilemmas of the stupid rules she/he is faced with. Bring on the memes, baby.


Dress Code – Rule Level: Not Enforced

First of all, I’m pretty sure that no one in their right mind wakes up every morning and thinks, “Hey, I’m planning on getting dress coded today!” Yeah; no. It’s sad to realize that people are being singled out of the herd while others are ignored for breaking the same rule. Come on, what’s the deal here? If the school is going to make “strict” rules depicting the importance of professionalism, then shouldn’t they do a better job of making sure the rule is followed? Many people here have actually gotten away with wearing something breaking the dress code a good number of times without being called out.


U turns – Rule Level: Unenforceable


Your parents wake up like any other day to drop you off. As you’re pulling in into Phoenix Drive, you’re hit by the realization that you have to go all the way around the parking lot and back to the front to get dropped off from the car instead of doing a U-turn, because everyone is in danger of crashing their cars when there’s no one around. In addition to its lack of sense, the rule concerning U-turns is just plain unenforceable. To really enforce it, RAHS would have to hire Dwayne Johnson to monitor the front of the school, which would amazing, but expensive overkill.


Computer rules in general – Rule Level: Just Plain Stupid


BREAKING NEWS: A large majority of RAHS students, if not all of us, are breaking the tech contract right now. It’s all because of some of the dumb and unenforced rules placed in the contract in the first place. Carrying papers in your laptop case and charging your computer at school are examples tech contract violation. How about make some rules that can actually be enforced for a start? It’s not like teachers are actually going to bust every student for carrying papers in our case; it’s convenient for us, and I’m pretty sure they know it is too.


Eating on campus


What is the deal? Last year the rule was that there was no food and beverages allowed to be consumed on the third floor because of the rats, and now there’s no food allowed on the first floor… because of the rats. Guys, just face it; rats are probably going to show up anyway, regardless of what we do. Good thing our school is full of snakes to take care of them.


Printers – Rule Level: Unenforced
I’d like to start off by saying that putting a limit on the amount that you print to reduce spam and paper waste is a brilliant idea. In fact, I think that this rule would work so much more better if only it wasn’t so easy to waste paper by “unsecured” print jobs (hint hint: third floor printer). Last year, there wasn’t a giant pile of papers on the printers on a daily basis, while this year, the newfound knowledge of promote print has everyone stupefied to print in mass quantities without double checking. I know it is convenient sometimes, but seriously, save the plants everyone: they deserve a life too.

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