05302017 Headline:

Snark Attack: A rant on the constant rescheduling of the bus routes

By Phoenix Flyer

It’s the end of the day. Everyone’s exhausted, and sixth period is dragging along. You can’t help but daydream about going home. The walk, the drive, the bus ride…Oh wait…

Surprise, surprise! Route 42 riders are now going to be riding Route 137. This is a shockingly rare occurrence. Now I’m stuck riding a bus to Snark knows where! On the outside this seems okay, but what about me? I’m stuck on a bus with a mole of other kids! I don’t even like these people! They’re loud and annoying and my bus is usually empty!

Okay, okay, calm down. It’s not all bad. It’s not like I can’t even hear the announcements, right? It’s not like the replacement bus takes about a year to arrive, right? It’s not like I’m wasting my life when I probably should be driving myself, right?

May I have your attention please, riders of Route 137 will go home on Route 129 today. 137 is riding 129.

I mean, I understand that sometimes there are real problems. Busses break down, car crashes block traffic, drivers get sick. Heck I even remember that one time my bus got hit by a car before it got to school! Let’s be serious, are we really going to accept any little excuse? I don’t care that you spilled coffee on your seat this morning, I need to get home! You accidentally stubbed your toe and can’t press the pedals, boo hoo. Oh, a paper cut on your finger? How ever will you drive? Seriously, just because you “don’t feel prepared to drive today” doesn’t excuse you from your responsibilities. And let’s face it, you’re probably just being lazy.

But you know what? It’s not just the drivers that neglect us. Has anyone even seen a bus barn? For those of you that have been blessed with ignorance about bus barns they’re basically endless oceans of the giant people-twinkies. Frankly, the district thinks that the busses should last forever, while we know that most of them should have been scrapped in 1974. Anyway, there are hundreds of buses in each barn! Is it impossible to just say right quick, “Oh, this bus isn’t working, let’s use this one instead!”? Apparently it is.

May I have your attention please, riders of Route 129 will go home on Route 176 today. 129 is riding 176.

So why are there no on-call subs for bus drivers? We have the ability to seemingly snap our fingers and have a substitute teacher appear, but is it so hard to get a replacement bus driver? Okay, I guess I have to give credit where credit is due. Driving somewhere you’ve never been is confusing and annoying. But come on, it’s driving! I realise it’s a bus, but still, it’s driving! And you have directions! It’s not that difficult!

Okay, calm down, this is my ride home. I can’t make them that mad.

Alright, that’s enough. I should be going home. I should probably find the bu–May I have your attention please, riders of Route 176 will go home on Route 137 today. 176 is riding 137.

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