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Snark Attack June 2015

By Phoenix Flyer

I think that every single person in this school has had a problem with people in the hallway. Every time there’s a passing period, it’s like the entire school decides to act like an urban thoroughfare for five minutes. Loud, crowded, sometimes stinky, people are not generally aware of what is right in front of their face.  There’s the first challenge after every class finishes, which is actually getting into the hall. Students cluster in front of the door, like they want to go to their next class, which last time I checked, is rarely ever true. On the other end of the spectrum you have kids who will do anything to prolong their time in the hall, be it not going in until five seconds before the start of class or leaving their previous class a minute early.  There is also a varying degree of people that walk at different speeds. And let me tell you, there is nothing more irritating than trying to book it to your next class, and the person walking in front of you is moving at a sloth’s pace. And I’m a shark, and I physically need to keep moving at all times to live. All these people walking so slow give me one fin in Davy Jones’ Locker.  Students of large quantities feel compelled to stand in the middle of the hallway and not budge, forcing other students to walk all the way around the massive clump. They may as well be random, pop-up construction, they’re so obstructively in the way. These elephants also like to congregate on the stairs, as well as in the doorways, making it far too difficult to do the everyday tasks of going up or down stairs, or walking through a door.

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