It all starts after the last year’s PAX Prime ends. You think “Wow, that was pretty fun, I should do it again next year,” and then you go on for the rest of the year, probably not thinking about PAX until sometime around Spring Break. The F5 spamming on prime.paxsite.com commences sometime in mid-April. If you were smart enough to know how to have Twitter send Tweets from certain accounts directly to your phone, you briefly have an episode of cardiac arrest every time your phone shows @Official_PAX, thinking they are announcing the release of passes. The more paranoid folk look at past release dates, and find that they consistently go on sale on a Wednesday at around 10 a.m.[…]

I DARE YOU TO… participate in Raisbeck Aviation High Schools 4th Annual SUMMER DARE CONTEST!   The group or individual who submits a photo album or video scrapbook winning the most points gets a pizza party for up to 6 people, including soda and cookies!   Dares are worth 2 points, double dog dares are worth 5 Points, and triple dares are worth 10 points. Points will only be award for dares completed starting the last day of the 2014-2015 school year, and ending on the first day of the 2015-2016 school year.   I dare you to…   Have a paint fight (Any kind!) Visit the Seattle Gum Wall and write a message in gum. Go night swimming–take some[…]

Dear Ground Control, I have a problem. I have a friend, well I thought he was a friend, who is just becoming more a jerk. He is ignoring me more now, and I feel as if I am just there as a background person who he talks with as a last option. We have many things in common and I want to have a friendship, but it really makes me mad when he does these things to me. What should I do?   –Pondering Ponderer   Hey Pondering Ponderer!   In my opinion, one of the worst things about High School is the people who think they are SOOO cool because they are “being a jerk.” Usually, it’s just that[…]

I know I’m a shark, but I’ve got beef with every single freaking chair inside of this school building. I’d be willing to bet that if somehow the school was plowed over by a runaway train or broken down by an earthquake, not a single chair would move an inch. You’d have a pile of rubble with a neat organization of red chairs emerging from the dust. In fact, these chairs should’ve been used to build the foundation of the building. At least that way, the west side of the building wouldn’t be sinking into the river. I mean how did they market these things? “Buy the perfect kidnapping chair! It will NEVER MOVE! $15.99. Buy two, get one free!”[…]

  What should I do if someone keeps taking my parking space in the morning? I have a space that I’ve always parked at, and every time I get to school after 8:00, someone else takes it. It really puts a downer on the beginning of my day. (Defenseless Driver) Well, know that there has NEVER been a spot that is assigned as “your spot.” But now, it doesn’t really matter because there is a 1 in 5 chance that “your spot” is claimed by an airplane. Parking at RAHS has become the hardest test of the semester, and you’ll just have to learn to be flexible. If you aren’t grown up enough to do so, consider an alternate method[…]

Cast: Stevius Jobs William the Gatekeeper Linusis Torvaldis Chorus ENTER Stevius Jobs, William the Gatekeeper, and Chorus Inside the basement of one of their parent’s houses, the smell of stale Doritos and old Mountain Dew fill the air. William the Gatekeeper is having problems with Internet Explorer crashing. Stevius Jobs: Ah, William, why don’t you understand the superiority of the compass I created? William the Gatekeeper:  That is because I did not create it. Stevius Jobs: However, you admit that your creation, this Explorer, is faulty? William the Gatekeeper: Why yes, but it has had stable improvements with each installment. And even though your compass is a lot more stable, my Explorer is used by more people. Besides let’s not[…]

Guest Writers: Jes Mannard and Chris Hendrickson Great news for all you insatiable complainers and squeaky wheels out there – the Phoenix Flyer is proud to unveil our newest column, Snark Attack! Every issue, our persnickety roving ombudsman Sharpedo McJabberjaw satisfies your craving for nitpicky microgripes and gets to the tiny heart of the issues that really don’t matter. It’s like a YouTube comment thread, but nonviolent and cool! This issue’s wannabe crisis is literally right under your feet… Enjoy! Recently, there has been a change at RAHS concerning the stairs–and we know that everyone has noticed. For the most part, all of you are teenagers, and probably can’t be bothered–I mean, it isn’t your problem right? Sure. At least[…]

So I have a feeling I’m not going to get asked to tolo this year but all my friends are. How do I still have fun on the 31st without having a counterpart in a dynamic duo? -Deserted Dude This is kind of a tough situation you’re in right now. There are a few steps of preparation you need to take before the big event. First, you have to learn the steps to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” down to a tee, request it for Tolo, and show all the girls out there that you ain’t gonna settle down if they’re not willing to commit. Second, you need to be the best dynamic duo out there to instill jealousy in all the[…]

It is undeniable that today’s society has become a reality like that in George Orwell’s 1984. However, what the novice author got wrong was accurately portraying the world’s current state. Today, our world is defined by the omnipresence of war. The United States battles against faceless enemies like ISIS and al Qaeda, just as in the novel, Oceania waged an endless war against Eastasia and Eurasia. Our world is the same as in the novel, and yet, our lives are great. Coffee’s still warm and gas prices are low. Nothing like the dystopia Orwell thought it would be. Our enemy has changed its name at least three times in the last couple decades: USSR, the Taliban, al Qaeda, ISIS–they’re all[…]