04242018 Headline:

Ground Control Volume 7 Issue 2

By Phoenix Flyer

There’s this girl I really like, but I don’t really understand the signals I’m getting. Is she flirting with me? Does she hate me? I don’t know. -Confused and Lonely

Dear Confused and Lonely,

Well, if this is an example of your communication skills it’s no wonder you’re confused. What kind of signals are you getting? Did she walk down the same hallway as you? Did she hug you for more than 1.5 seconds? Was it a side hug? Did she breathe the same air as you? Did you touch the same door handle? Take some time to think about your own signals. If you don’t give me examples, I can’t help you. So, in the words of the great Adam Lambert, “What do you want from me?”

-Yours truly, Ground Control

I’m a freshman here, and as a girl in a sea of guys, I want to know, what’s up with the dating scene? -Outnumbered and Available

Dear Outnumbered,

In the words of a wise, wise man, “the odds are good but the goods are odd.” It’s extremely likely that a girl can find SOMEONE, but the options may not be great. They aren’t the best looking, nor do they bathe often (or at all). They still think burping is cool, they probably smell like and are covered in cheeto dust, and some of them spend weeks on end in a dark corner with a flight simulator. But at least they have nice personalities? As for the dating here: they don’t have jobs, and they don’t like to go outside. So, if you’re into going to the Museum of Flight (for free, with ASB) and awkwardly standing on the flight deck, you’re going to love it here.

-May the odds and oddities be ever in your favor, Ground Control

I was originally really excited about my mentor, but I don’t think it’s working out. I don’t really want to go into the field she works in, and we have nothing to talk about. What should I do?

– Muddled Mentee

Dear Muddled,

Well, there are a few options for how you can handle this. The worst thing you can do is avoid all contact with your mentor until they eventually forget about you. As a representative of yourself and the school, you have an obligation to handle interactions with professionals in the proper way. One option, if you really don’t think you can fix it is reaching out to your mentor and telling them that you don’t think it’s going to work out, and that you appreciate their time. The other way is trying to make it work. Contact your mentor and communicate with them about the problems you’re having, and try to fix it. Neither option will be super easy, but they’ll definitely appreciate your professionalism and consideration of their time.

-Good luck, Ground Control.

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