06262017 Headline:

Snark Attack

Do you know what everyone loves to the bottom of their heart space? High school parking lots. Do you know what their favorite thing about high school parking lots is? People who park like absolute jack@$$es.   I’m talking about the people [...]

Ground Control

Dear Ground Control, Every time I park my car in the neat striped spot, people yell at me. I don’t understand why people are being so mean. What do I do? Sincerely, Parking Perp   Dear Perp, After much thought about your problem, and [...]

Death by a Thousand Websites

Canvas. Illuminate. Pearson. Big History. Dot Info. Myawesometeacherwebsite.com. Myotherevenmoreawesomewebsiteformyclassformystudents.blogspot.com. Oh yeah, and Google Sites – lots and lots of Google Sites.   Okay, I get it – [...]

Ground Control – FaceTime and Hangman

Dear Ground Control, My sister is always on FaceTime really loudly with her friends and it’s really annoying, but I feel like it’s rude to ask her to stop. Sincerely, Annoyed and Aggravated   Dear Aggravated, I’m afraid [...]

Ways to procrastinate

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Ground Control: Going Goth and Looking for Love

Dear Ground Control, After how much I enjoyed the last class colors day, I decided that I like wearing all black. What are your tips to stay stylish while sporting this new goth look? Sincerely, Aspiring Goth   Dear Goth, You’ve come [...]

Snark Attack: Finals Week and Procrastination

Now that finals are over, we can take a quick time-out to mourn the loss of sleep and friends due to irritability from finals week. It was inevitable, everyone knew it was coming, but what they weren’t expecting were the four day finals for [...]

Ground Control – December 2016

Dear Ground Control, My friends have been using my student ID to print out their school papers. Just a week or two back, two of them printed out 2 full-size SAT practice tests! This is causing me emotional distress. I don’t know what to [...]

Snark Attack – December 2016

Okay, we all know that the flu is going around, and because of that Mr. Snark is out of business until hibernation season ends. For now, it’s time to deal with me, the Meme Shark, and boy oh boy, we’re gonna get down to business to defeat [...]

Snark Attack – 10/17/2016

It’s 8:58 a.m. You’ve just finished a super important essay for Ms. Cook and it’s only two minutes before the start of her class. Your heart is pounding in your chest as Eminem lyrics pass through your head: His palms are sweaty, knees [...]

Ground Control – 10/17/2016

Dear Ground Control: How can I get my students to take their homework more seriously, not just as a hoop to jump through as fast as they can? Sincerely, Troubled Teacher   Dear Troubled Teacher, That’s not gonna happen bro. Good luck [...]
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