10182018 Headline:

Ground Control No More Advice or Spirit

Dear Ground Control, What am I going to do now that I can’t get wondrous advice from ground control? Any last words? Sincerely, A Confused Student   Dear Confused Student, Wow, I’m sad. I’m kidding, is there really a point to [...]

Snarky Malarkey

You think I don’t notice. You think that no one sees you. You think you’re safe in your cozy aviation themed socks. But I know what you’ve done and you better not think there aren’t consequences. I walk through the halls, into [...]

Farewell to Journalism

Dear the readers of The Phoenix Flyer: With sadness in our hearts, we have the unfortunate duty of telling you that this issue will be the final issue of The Phoenix Flyer. With our longtime advisor Jacob Savishinsky moving on to the new position [...]

Email Etiquette Snark Attack

Dear RAHS Students, Actually, no. Apparently we don’t need to have a heading for emails anymore because your email etiquette is trash. Which is great because when you cc everyone for your random email with a pointlessly vague subject line [...]

Grand Cantral

Dear Ground Control, Why the hell are underclassman wearing their middle school sports gear?   Sincerely, Shook Senior   Dear Shooketh, There’s a simple answer for this: an inferiority complex. Back in middle school, these underclassmen [...]

Group Project Snark Attack

I cannot count the amount of times I have been let down in a group project. In every group project, I have always been assigned with at least one IDIOT PARTNER who has absolutely NO understanding of a WORK ETHIC. I get it, when we leave high [...]

FAKE Ground Control

Dear Ground Control, Why are all of your questions fake? Sincerely, An Underwhelmed Reader Dear Underwhelmed Reader, Wow, I’m hurt. Just kidding, I don’t dwell on small things, like your opinion and the questions submitted to the local newspaper [...]

The Apocalypses Happened…

 

Ground Control Illuminati Confrimed

Dear Ground Control, Truth or dare? Sincerely, Curious   Dear curious, Interesting question you pose. Okay, if you really think about it, truth is 5 letters, or is 2 letters, dare is 4 letters. 5 + 2 + 4 = 11. There are eleven players on [...]

Snark Attack Lunch Line

It’s so simple, but everyone always does it incorrectly: microwave courtesy. I mean, why are all the microwaves at RAHS REALLY ALWAYS SO STUPIDLY MESSY! It’s not that hard to put yourself in a line WITHOUT CUTTING!. Wait. Put your [...]

Snark Attack

Food. It’s more than important. It’s vital. Dealing with the stress of final projects, studying, and all of the other work that’s piled onto the poor devils here can be very difficult, and to add insult to injury, lunch lines that [...]