Group Project Snark Attack

I cannot count the amount of times I have been let down in a group project. In every group project, I have always been assigned with at least one IDIOT PARTNER who has absolutely NO understanding of a WORK ETHIC. I get it, when we leave high school and face the real world, we’re going to have to learn how to work with other people. But all of these group projects SERIOUSLY have me considering a career in a cave dwelling or in any other job that requires minimal human collaboration.

Any more of this and I’ll pack my bags and head to the ocean because it’s easier to collaborate with crustaceans than the kids in our school. Humans, supposedly the smartest species in the animal kingdom, can’t even perform basic tasks with their own species. Put together a group of teenagers and they can hardly decide whether they want to stop at Starbucks or McDonalds. I mean our school has kids who have time to spend 12 hours playing Fortnite during the day, but can’t contribute ten minutes to a group project. The level of competency in our school is quite peculiar, especially when our students can hack into the school’s security cameras, but can’t pay enough attention in a group project to do their infinitesimally small part.

I mean, come on. For a school with students so dedicated to a 4.0 GPA, we’re so self-absorbed that we can’t simply commit 10% of our work time to ACTUALLY WORKING ON OUR ONE ASSIGNED RESPONSIBILITY. And don’t get me started on the kids who promise they’ll “do it later.” Come on. You think I’m falling for that horse crap again? THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU’VE LET ME DOWN TODAY!! At least have the decency to let me know that you have absolutely NO INTENTION of actually working on the project. That way I can plan ahead for not sleeping the entire week. Admit it, you know I won’t let the work go undone, so you’re gonna let me do all of it.

You know what; I enjoy holding up your end of the bargain. I enjoy reducing the miniscule amount of free time I have to do something you were supposed to do a week ago. A shark only has about 20 to 30 years of life and I would much rather spend it feeding on fishes and other small creatures of the sea.

Sincerely,

The Shark

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