06282017 Headline:

Abandoned temples of Noitaivan past

The archaeological history of the Noitaiva people

By Karl Nielsen

During the two years the Noitaiva have been studied, they have only occupied one location. However, two other locations, one relatively close and the other over seven miles away, have been discovered as previous Noitaiva settlements.

We first encountered the Noitaiva at their current location, but brief observation of their historical documents lead to the conclusion that there were two additional sites. We sent in archeological teams to analyze these abandoned locations.

The first location was rather close to their present domain. The site appeared to have been vacated hastily with debris strewn about. However, none of this debris proved useful in deciphering these mysterious people. The site consisted of several small buildings with some adjacent greenery. The largest of these buildings seemed to be some kind of central market structure despite being relatively small still. A multitude of artifacts were found in this temple from culinary implements to seating apparati and even complex technological devices that could produce moving pictures from electricity.

Chemical analysis of the sedimentary dust layers covering the majority of the facility concludes that it was last touched in 2007 CE. However, shortly after we concluded analyzing the dig site, a tribe of seemingly higher-powered beings destroyed the temple and its surrounding facilities, replacing them with a new temple to vocational education.

The second site is significantly larger than the first, and there are disputes as to what was the cause for this migration. The two leading theories are rather conflicting. We believe that it may have been due to a growth in population. The larger nature of the newer site suggests that it would have been able to accommodate more tribesmen. However, the analysis of our anthropologists do not show any further population increase in the years since.

The other theory is much more plausible. It suggests that the Noitaiva are a weak species and were driven out by the tribesmen of vocational education. This is primarily based on the anthropological evidence but is also attributed to the hasty nature of their departure from the first location and the poor quality of the second facility.

This second location, albeit larger, is not in better repair. Samplings of the still-active plumbing supply suggest unsafe levels of mineral compounds not fit for most biological consumption. High levels of asbestos suggest the potential for respiratory issues, and high moisture levels caused significant mold growth and even material distortion over large swaths of the commune.

Additionally, poor climate control systems coupled with significant outdoor features suggest that this location is not ideal for the inside-dwelling Noitaiva.

The tribe only spent six years at this site before once again, suddenly migrating. Their destination was a brand new site near the temple to the winged flying machine, on the opposite end of the pathway of the winged flying machine from their first location.

This building appears to be a charitable project for the disadvantaged Noitaiva. Provided in cooperation from the temple to the winged flying machine and other high priests, this hastily constructed structure will not likely last the test of time. In only the two years it has been occupied, significant challenges have become prevalent from the physical building. It is a sure sign that these people are unaware of how to properly construct anything, let alone the winged flying machines they worship.

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