10152018 Headline:

Ground Control April 2015

By Phoenix Flyer


Dear Ground Control,

How do I balance spending time with my friends in the midst of the craziest time of year?

Sincerely, ”No Life Nerd”



Dear “No Life Nerd,”

As you know, life here is kind of terrifying. I mean, late-night studying and long days on campus lead to a pretty high stress level. When you get home, it can be pretty tempting to crawl into bed for a few minutes of Netflix-watching, and eat away your sad feelings from the day.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Everyone does it–just ask a senior. Chances are that your friends are also snuggled up in the dark alone after school. So why not do it together?

Ok, so maybe you don’t literally want to invite them into your bed…find a way to relax together. High school life can be tough, and everyone needs a break from it all, but that doesn’t mean you gotta do it alone!

If you honestly think about it, the things you are doing alone day after day (even during the craziest time of the year) are things that you and your friends can do together! If you don’t jump at any chance you get, all of you are gonna be more crazy than your homework schedule!

Good Luck! –Ground Control


Archaeologists studying the Noitaiva tribe have found this written document that appears to be some type of plea for help or public shaming.

These words of wisdom were found in a published form that have been seen in various places around the community. The tribe etched into these sheets of papyrus with the intent of sharing it with the public.

Those studying what is being called “The Ground Control Advisement Article,” are unsure of why it seems so important for the members of this society to be dependent on the opinions of others, but it appears true in many places throughout the culture.

It seems as though tribesmen with more authority than others, for whatever reason, make fun of those with less superiority for not being able to answer questions about their own life struggles, instead of taking the opportunity to support and connect to each other.

Although it seems that those of a higher class are the ones that reply to the question asked, it is unclear why are some people more qualified to answer questions that others.

Other than the possibility of it being simply a way to harass the lower classes, speculations on why this may be include it being a cultural right of passage to be “publicly shamed,” or a lame attempt to maintain control within the society.

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